last year, i proclaimed that i’m gon be the master splinter on the year of the rat. well, it has somewhat been prophetic cause along da sewers that i dwell, i found a hairy-backed turtle on skimmers.
and that’s what made my year turn around a lil faster than the average speed of my pelvic thrusts during my humpin’ activities. this year has been a whirlpool of unfortnate and lucky-i-got-out moments and hell, lotta cheese flowin and it all aint a dream, things just aint always what it seem.i just know, everybody wanna touch my cheddar.and no way nobody can sit on my wood.and so as we throw our shoes to the year 2008, (and i’m gon make sure i aint gon miss ). let us look back as i unveil the porny and unporny moments of 2008.

i had a lotta mis steps and unforced errors this year. and so my share of tragic happenings and tons of other weird shit that caught me on a fastbreak.and these are some..

unporny moments

5.banged bus- since i go to manila every month, i got to get to get used of the 7 or sometimes 8 hour travel to the big city. and on that one unfortunate night at quezon the bus was slowly showing signs that it’s really pretty banged up and it once smelled like something’s burning. aircon’s dead and it stayed dead til we got to manila. imagine hell.that’s almost hell-like hotness inside.

4. dawn of the new error part dos- there will be no unporny moments without my own pc moment. and at number four.. it’s the continuing misadventure of my ever malfunctioning ukrainian pc named kapirov. and now he’s joined by his new HD courtesy of chinggay. restarting pc has never been this sweet.

3.i am legend- there are too many nights that promised me prestige.made me feel i’m invincible and super human.a lot of lost memories in the morning and too many memorable drunk moments. from strippin infront of the ATM machine to rap battles and bringin chaos to everywhere i go.and one time, i even saw myself hover above my body as i sing  a david cook song on videoke. this made me a myth. a legend and a force everytime i pop dat bottle.
and i’m not proud of it (sorta)

2.blind rage- lately, i’ve been havin tantrums more than all of chinggay’s combined. im havin short fuse and sometimes i’m silent like a bomb. really really dangerous. only moments from snappin’. i really need to check myself in to an anger management program to control thsi lil rage inside’a me.or maybe chill pill’s supply aint nuff no more.or maybe it’s justa  result of playin too much grand theft auto and scarface and watchin too much houston rockets games. thank you, mr artest!

1.celebrity blog fight death match- nuff said. the author can’t be reached for further comments

those are some if not the most. u know. it cuda been longer if only i didnt have to get the top 5.
anyway, on the brighter side, these are the moments where it made my boxers cut loose a bit. u know..

the porny moments

5- rated r video game superstar- finally, my very own gaming console! and i only got one this year. i know it’s a lil over due havin your own ps2 today cause ps3’s already sendin huge shockwaves across the gaming nation but u know, the gamer in me’s tellin me it’s never too late. and so far, i’ve finished two god of wars and i’m currently playin scarface. the official game adaptation of the movie.it’s tony fockin montana, cock-a-roaches!!
next year, m gon work on my ps3. nyehehe i’m gon own you!

4. tagaytay trip with poodie-  a half volcano as a backdraft? why not? me and chinggay ran into tagaytay and have a zen-like solitude while undergoing soul searching and just be lovers away from everybody even just for a day.and this has been rewarding in a way. if not for the non-existent airconed van and the stressful traffic along da way, this could’ve been a disaster. but nevertheless, we surely enjoyed the experience and the dinner after. wonder where kuya johnny’s at?

3. room raided- at the eve of my birthday, one rainy night while everyody’s preparin to sleep, i’ve been raided and eventually taken to a local hotel to spend the night in there.the flat screen was nice and the pyjamas were huge. the guys epecially the god father arranged the hysteria. he had the sickest idea ever. he want me to stay on the hotel on the first day of the year cause he wants me to keep on checkin in the rest of the year. hell.. are appartelles considered?

2. bbbbora! - what a way to end the summer and to start the love waves. personally this is the  best summer of my beachin’ career. this served as my escape and my starting point at the same time. and will all the travels, sea urchins and bananna boat riding and vestless snorkling, this has been one of the best travelling experiences i had. and i thank chinggay and her mapua buddies for makin this happen. i can still remember the text messgaes which goes a lil sumtyhin like this. “punta kami bora ng friends ko”.. “pano ako?” “eh di sumama ka”
then i started my hundred crunches routine that morning.

1. the turn around- this has been the turning point of my year.a life affirming meeting that made me to what i am now. the event that shocked everybody’s teenage nightmares.and this the year i finally retired the player on me. and oh no, there wont be no comebacks. this time it’s final and executory.  yeah i made ya’ll look with the drop off and the change up. but as wut i’ve said.. ‘08 wouldn’t be nothing with the defining moment of my youth. meeting somebody the unconventional way has never been so exciting. and this is da redefinition of all the love stories ever written. chaotic yet superb in all aspect. mushy heads yet brutal. and if i were just ashton kutcher, she’s my demi moore. ya’ll a witness and we’re a believer and this is rawnology 101.

we’re just few hours away to kiss 2008’s ass goodbye and lemme just remind ya’ll to stay at the top of your game and just be true. for you know good karma’s just gon go crashing down on you. if last year was amazing i know next year the legend in me will continue. i wish ya’ll have a safe and fruitful year everybody. til next year and m’a give ya’ll another dose of my own chill pill.
if chinggay owned 2008, i licked 2008 on its face with my eyes open.

~ by iamwoim on December 30, 2008.